Letterkenny
Shoresy
Letterkenny & Shoresy
Your Mum's Joke Generator
- Fuck you, Stewart.
- Hey, fuck you...
you'll be crying
for your mother,
you fucking asshole.
I bet, the second you popped out,
your mom wished she
had a sewn up snapper.
TANIS: My balls dangle
harder than you.
your mom wished she had
a sewn up snapper.
There's a text from your mum.
Fear of your mother‐in‐law?
Have your mom
mix up the egg whites
and the vanilla?
Huh? Have your mom cut it with
a knife or a small spatula
through the batter releasing
air bubbles and bake?
SHORESY: Yeah, it's your mom's
favorite chirp, too, buddy.
Three things, I hit you,
you hit the pavement,
I fuck your mom again.
Fuck you, Jonesy. Your mom
just liked my Instagram post
from two years ago
in Puerto Vallarta.
Your mom keeps trying to slip
a finger in my bum,
but I keep telling her
I only let
Jonsey's mom do that,
you fuckin' loser.
I heard the same thing from
your mum last night
five to seven times.
I fuck your mom again.
your mum last night
five to seven times.
Tell your mom to top up
the cell phone she bought me
so I can FaceTime her
late night.
Three things, I hit you, you hit the pavement, I jerk off on your driver's side door handle.
Is your mom
really a psychologist?
Tell your mom I drained
the bank account
she set up for me.
Your mom loves butt play
like I love Haagen‐Dazs.
SHORESY: Hey, Reilly,
I made a oopsy,
can you ask your mom
to pick up Jonesy's mom
on the way over to my place?
Gretz probably smashed
your mom in the '80s, bud.
can you ask your mom
to pick up Jonesy's mom
Your mom.
Attaboy.
If you guys are here,
then who's jerking off
in your mom's basement?
I woke up to your mum
rippin' dick‐dingers
off my foreskin,
tell her to keep
her hands off my scoops.
Fuck you, Jonesy,
I made your mum cum
so hard
they made a Canadian
Heritage Minute out of it and
Don McKellar played my dick.
I made your mum so wet,
Trudeau deployed a 24‐hour
infantry unit
to stack sand bags
around my bed.
(FARTS)
BOTH: Fuck you, Shoresy.
Fuck you, Reilly,
your mum groped me
two Halloweens ago,
shut the fuck up
or I'll take it to Twitter.
Fuck you, Reilly,
tell your mum
to give me a time‐out.
Fuck you, Jonesy,
tell your mum
to leave me alone,
she's been laying
in my fuckin' water bed
since Labor Day.
Go scoop it
off your mom's bedroom floor
for me.
Your mom shot cum straight
across the room and killed
my Siamese Fighting Fish.
Should have heard
your mom last night,
she sounded like
a window closing
on a Tonkinese cat's tail.
Should have heard
your mom last night.
Your mom sneaky gushed so hard,
she bucked me off the waterbed
last night.
Your mom ugly cried
'cause she left the lens cap
on the camcorder last night.
Fuck you, Daxi.
You wouldn't know what to do
with the great one.
He fires bigger rockets
than Elon Musk.
Fuck you, Ronzy.
You're a marathon of dope.
Terry Fox ran
3400 miles
in a 143 days on one leg.
If he were alive,
he'd be gettin' handy's from
Hiltons and Hadids.
Fuck you, Betty‐Anne.
If Terry Fox was alive,
Gisele would be
sliding into his DM's
from Patriots' games.
Fuck you, Mary‐Anne!
If Terry Fox ran 143 days
he smashed 143 broads
and that's probably
fuckin' light.
If Terry Fox was alive
he'd have an interview show
like Seinfeld.
But it'd be called
Canadians in Cars
Getting Blow's.
MARY‐ANNE:
If Terry Fox was alive
he'd be smashing
J‐Law and J‐Lo
on Scar‐Jo's boat.
He'd be boatin'
with Kylie Minogue.
This is my house.
It's your mom's house.
Vomit on
your mom's spaghetti, or whatever that
talking singer says.
Do you have
good relationships
with your mom?
Your mom pulled
the goalie on me
and now she's preggo.
I slipped one
past your mom, too.
Your mom's in her first
trimester, and already
bitching about baby brain.
I talked your mom into
a three-way with our midwife
Your mom wants to name
the baby after the place
it was conceived.
Your mom wants
the same thing.
Got those knee pads
from your mom, bud?
Can I grab your email?
Oh, I'll just get it
from your mom.
I took your mom
to Medieval Times
and me and the Green Knight took
her down after at Best Western.
SHORESY: Fuck you, Reilly.
I took your mom the next weekend
and me and the Blue Knight
showed her a real sword fight.
Your mom got us banned
from Canada's Wonderland
for trying to give me
a tug on Top Gun.
SHORESY: Fuck you, Reilly.
Took your mom the weekend before
and she asked me to
diddle her on Drop Tower.
Fuck you, Reilly.
I took your mom the next weekend
Fuck you, Reilly.
Took your mom the weekend before
SHORESY: You bet. The dress
looked good on me,
but it'll look better on your
mum's bedroom floor,
- you fucking loser.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
Fuck you, Jonesy. Your mom
wanted to go with me as Toto
but I said short trip,
you're already a fucking dog.
Your mom got refused
entry to that party for
coming in blackface.
Fuck you, Jonesy.
I dumped your mom
and she sent me flowers
like I'm a fucking broad.
Fuck you, Reilly. Your mom
said she'd do anything
to get me back so I've got
her running around town
on my Pokémon Go.
I gotta fuck your mom
one more time
because she's still got my
Game Boy Colour.
I'm supposed to be honey-dicking your moms right now,
you fucking losers.
Tell your mom to trim her toenails,
she carves up my thighs when she gets buckin'.
Tell your mom to trim her fingernails, Reilly's mom's getting suspicious.
Your mom asked me to pull her hair, and then hit me up
for a hundo when her extensions came out.
Your mum asked me to choke her and seriously,
not even that could shut her up.
Your mom wanted 11th hour anal and lied when I asked
if the chamber was empty. It's one step forward, two steps
back in this relationship. I'm fuckin' sick of it.
Your mom says she's tense
with anxiety.
I walked in on your mum watchin' porn and she tried to cover
it up worse than she tried to cover up your old man.
Your mom wanted to watch porn and went straight for BDSM
with complete disregard for how triggering that is
for anyone who's been ball-gagged in their sleep
by Reilly's mom.
I'm supposed to be honey-dicking
your moms right now, you fucking losers.
Tell your mom to trim her
toenails, she carves up my thighs when
she gets buckin'.
Your mom asked me to pull her
hair, and then hit me up for a hundo when her
extensions came out.
Your mum asked me to choke her
and seriously, not even that could
shut her up.
Your mom wanted 11th hour anal
and lied when I asked
I walked in on your mum watchin'
porn and she tried to cover
Your mom wanted to watch porn
and went straight for BDSM
There's a Planned Parenthood billboard on the property
right beside another billboard that says,
"Smile, your mom chose life."
I thought it was good to stay bipartisan.
"Smile, your mom chose life."
- My crib's around the corner.
- Your mom's crib--
Roald! You wanna rip some Chel?
Fuck you, Reilly.
I haven't laughed this hard
since your mom queefed
out her birthday candles.
Fuck you, Jonesy. I
haven't laughed this hard
since your mom cleared
out Denny's at 3:00 am
with her coke farts.
Fuck you, Reilly. I'm only
asking so I can help your mum.
Fuck you, Jonesy.
Anything's better than
your mom's spoiled oyster stank.
I can't take your
mum fucking anywhere.
Yeah, fuck you, Reilly.
Your mom hand bombed herself
at our picnic at the beach andf
of squirt into the
water like sea levels
aren't rising at
an alarming rate.
Your mom gave me an over-
the-pants handy at the mall
and then cried when
I cleaned myself up
with the racy top
she got at Sirens.
Hey,
Reilly, speaking r
in the city was a rough
trip never wandered from
your mom's mitt to her butthole.
Fuck you, Jonesy.
I swear if your mom fills
my bedroom with any more squirt
I'm going to need to rent
a water taxi to get out of.
since your mom queefed
out her birthday candles.
since your mom cleared
out Denny's at 3:00 am
But I mean, don't you remember
the excitement of
bringing it home
and hiding it in
your undie drawer,
so your mom couldn't find it?
- How?
- What, do I look like
the fuckin' oracle?
- She's not your mom, pussy.
the fuckin' oracle?
- She's not your mom, pussy.
- The Bubblicious boys.
- I have a hard time believing
your mom wasn't drinking hard
bar with you in the womb.
Your mom loves Jager Bombs.
your mom wasn't drinking hard
bar with you in the womb.
203
Total Jokes
103
Letterkenny
100
Shoresy