Letterkenny
Shoresy
Letterkenny & Shoresy
Your Mum's Joke Generator
- Fuck you, Stewart.
- Hey, fuck you...
you'll be crying
for your mother,
you fucking asshole.
I bet, the second you popped out,
your mom wished she
had a sewn up snapper.
TANIS: My balls dangle
harder than you.
your mom wished she had
a sewn up snapper.
There's a text from your mum.
Fear of your mother‐in‐law?
Have your mom
mix up the egg whites
and the vanilla?
Huh? Have your mom cut it with
a knife or a small spatula
through the batter releasing
air bubbles and bake?
SHORESY: Yeah, it's your mom's
favorite chirp, too, buddy.
Three things, I hit you,
you hit the pavement,
I fuck your mom again.
Fuck you, Jonesy. Your mom
just liked my Instagram post
from two years ago
in Puerto Vallarta.
Your mom keeps trying to slip
a finger in my bum,
but I keep telling her
I only let
Jonsey's mom do that,
you fuckin' loser.
I heard the same thing from
your mum last night
five to seven times.
I fuck your mom again.
your mum last night
five to seven times.
Tell your mom to top up
the cell phone she bought me
so I can FaceTime her
late night.
Three things, I hit you, you hit the pavement, I jerk off on your driver's side door handle.
Is your mom
really a psychologist?
Tell your mom I drained
the bank account
she set up for me.
Your mom loves butt play
like I love Haagen‐Dazs.
SHORESY: Hey, Reilly,
I made a oopsy,
can you ask your mom
to pick up Jonesy's mom
on the way over to my place?
Gretz probably smashed
your mom in the '80s, bud.
can you ask your mom
to pick up Jonesy's mom
Your mom.
Attaboy.
If you guys are here,
then who's jerking off
in your mom's basement?
I woke up to your mum
rippin' dick‐dingers
off my foreskin,
tell her to keep
her hands off my scoops.
Fuck you, Jonesy,
I made your mum cum
so hard
they made a Canadian
Heritage Minute out of it and
Don McKellar played my dick.
I made your mum so wet,
Trudeau deployed a 24‐hour
infantry unit
to stack sand bags
around my bed.
(FARTS)
BOTH: Fuck you, Shoresy.
Fuck you, Reilly,
your mum groped me
two Halloweens ago,
shut the fuck up
or I'll take it to Twitter.
Fuck you, Reilly,
tell your mum
to give me a time‐out.
Fuck you, Jonesy,
tell your mum
to leave me alone,
she's been laying
in my fuckin' water bed
since Labor Day.
Go scoop it
off your mom's bedroom floor
for me.
Your mom shot cum straight
across the room and killed
my Siamese Fighting Fish.
Should have heard
your mom last night,
she sounded like
a window closing
on a Tonkinese cat's tail.
Should have heard
your mom last night.
Your mom sneaky gushed so hard,
she bucked me off the waterbed
last night.
Your mom ugly cried
'cause she left the lens cap
on the camcorder last night.
Fuck you, Daxi.
You wouldn't know what to do
with the great one.
He fires bigger rockets
than Elon Musk.
Fuck you, Ronzy.
You're a marathon of dope.
Terry Fox ran
3400 miles
in a 143 days on one leg.
If he were alive,
he'd be gettin' handy's from
Hiltons and Hadids.
Fuck you, Betty‐Anne.
If Terry Fox was alive,
Gisele would be
sliding into his DM's
from Patriots' games.
Fuck you, Mary‐Anne!
If Terry Fox ran 143 days
he smashed 143 broads
and that's probably
fuckin' light.
If Terry Fox was alive
he'd have an interview show
like Seinfeld.
But it'd be called
Canadians in Cars
Getting Blow's.
MARY‐ANNE:
If Terry Fox was alive
he'd be smashing
J‐Law and J‐Lo
on Scar‐Jo's boat.
He'd be boatin'
with Kylie Minogue.
This is my house.
It's your mom's house.
Vomit on
your mom's spaghetti, or whatever that
talking singer says.
Do you have
good relationships
with your mom?
Your mom pulled
the goalie on me
and now she's preggo.
I slipped one
past your mom, too.
Your mom's in her first
trimester, and already
bitching about baby brain.
I talked your mom into
a three-way with our midwife
Your mom wants to name
the baby after the place
it was conceived.
Your mom wants
the same thing.
Got those knee pads
from your mom, bud?
Can I grab your email?
Oh, I'll just get it
from your mom.
I took your mom
to Medieval Times
and me and the Green Knight took
her down after at Best Western.
SHORESY: Fuck you, Reilly.
I took your mom the next weekend
and me and the Blue Knight
showed her a real sword fight.
Your mom got us banned
from Canada's Wonderland
for trying to give me
a tug on Top Gun.
SHORESY: Fuck you, Reilly.
Took your mom the weekend before
and she asked me to
diddle her on Drop Tower.
Fuck you, Reilly.
I took your mom the next weekend
Fuck you, Reilly.
Took your mom the weekend before
SHORESY: You bet. The dress
looked good on me,
but it'll look better on your
mum's bedroom floor,
- you fucking loser.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
Fuck you, Jonesy. Your mom
wanted to go with me as Toto
but I said short trip,
you're already a fucking dog.
Your mom got refused
entry to that party for
coming in blackface.
Fuck you, Jonesy.
I dumped your mom
and she sent me flowers
like I'm a fucking broad.
Fuck you, Reilly. Your mom
said she'd do anything
to get me back so I've got
her running around town
on my Pokémon Go.
I gotta fuck your mom
one more time
because she's still got my
Game Boy Colour.
I'm supposed to be honey-dicking your moms right now,
you fucking losers.
Tell your mom to trim her toenails,
she carves up my thighs when she gets buckin'.
Tell your mom to trim her fingernails, Reilly's mom's getting suspicious.
Your mom asked me to pull her hair, and then hit me up
for a hundo when her extensions came out.
Your mum asked me to choke her and seriously,
not even that could shut her up.
Your mom wanted 11th hour anal and lied when I asked
if the chamber was empty. It's one step forward, two steps
back in this relationship. I'm fuckin' sick of it.
Your mom says she's tense
with anxiety.
I walked in on your mum watchin' porn and she tried to cover
it up worse than she tried to cover up your old man.
Your mom wanted to watch porn and went straight for BDSM
with complete disregard for how triggering that is
for anyone who's been ball-gagged in their sleep
by Reilly's mom.
I'm supposed to be honey-dicking
your moms right now, you fucking losers.
Tell your mom to trim her
toenails, she carves up my thighs when
she gets buckin'.
Your mom asked me to pull her
hair, and then hit me up for a hundo when her
extensions came out.
Your mum asked me to choke her
and seriously, not even that could
shut her up.
Your mom wanted 11th hour anal
and lied when I asked
I walked in on your mum watchin'
porn and she tried to cover
Your mom wanted to watch porn
and went straight for BDSM
There's a Planned Parenthood billboard on the property
right beside another billboard that says,
"Smile, your mom chose life."
I thought it was good to stay bipartisan.
"Smile, your mom chose life."
- My crib's around the corner.
- Your mom's crib--
Roald! You wanna rip some Chel?
Fuck you, Reilly.
I haven't laughed this hard
since your mom queefed
out her birthday candles.
Fuck you, Jonesy. I
haven't laughed this hard
since your mom cleared
out Denny's at 3:00 am
with her coke farts.
Fuck you, Reilly. I'm only
asking so I can help your mum.
Fuck you, Jonesy.
Anything's better than
your mom's spoiled oyster stank.
I can't take your
mum fucking anywhere.
Yeah, fuck you, Reilly.
Your mom hand bombed herself
at our picnic at the beach andf
of squirt into the
water like sea levels
aren't rising at
an alarming rate.
Your mom gave me an over-
the-pants handy at the mall
and then cried when
I cleaned myself up
with the racy top
she got at Sirens.
Hey,
Reilly, speaking r
in the city was a rough
trip never wandered from
your mom's mitt to her butthole.
Fuck you, Jonesy.
I swear if your mom fills
my bedroom with any more squirt
I'm going to need to rent
a water taxi to get out of.
since your mom queefed
out her birthday candles.
since your mom cleared
out Denny's at 3:00 am
But I mean, don't you remember
the excitement of
bringing it home
and hiding it in
your undie drawer,
so your mom couldn't find it?
- How?
- What, do I look like
the fuckin' oracle?
- She's not your mom, pussy.
the fuckin' oracle?
- She's not your mom, pussy.
- The Bubblicious boys.
- I have a hard time believing
your mom wasn't drinking hard
bar with you in the womb.
Your mom loves Jager Bombs.
your mom wasn't drinking hard
bar with you in the womb.
Yeah, I remember laying in bed
dreaming about the time your mom
tongued my butt hole so good
I put her in my phone as
"Roll up the rim to win."
How do you make that fucking
call in a game this tight?
Yeah, I remember laying in bed
dreaming about the time your mom
tongued my butt hole so good
I put her in my phone as
"Roll up the rim to win."
How do you make that fucking
call in a game this tight?
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Cory,
your mom's twat's so swampy,
not even Ducks Unlimited
will touch her.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Cory,
your mom's twat's so swampy,
not even Ducks Unlimited will touch her.
The amount of times your mom's
faked a jelly fish sting
to get me to piss on her.
- You didn't get the first one?
The amount of times your mom's
faked a jelly fish sting
- to get me to piss on her.
- You didn't get the first one?
- Yeah, your mom's folding too.
- Huh? Cory! Cory!
- Yeah, your mom's folding too.
- Huh? Cory! Cory!
- Embarrassing.
- You know what's embarrassing,
Core? Your Mom started
an OnlyFans
to try to make me jealous
and I haven't laughed that hard
since Liam's mom tried
the same thing.
- Embarrassing.
- You know what's embarrassing,
Core?
Your Mom started an OnlyFans
to try to make me jealous
and I haven't laughed that hard
since Liam's mom tried the same thing.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Liam,
your mom made me a mix CD
with only three bands on it.
- Fuck you, Shoresy. - Fuck you, Liam, your mom made me a mix CD with only three bands on it. Moist, The Wailers, and Wet Wet Wet.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Well, if you can dish it out,
you can take it, boys.
I give your moms so much wood
they call my dick Beaver Lumber.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Well, if you can dish it out,
you can take it, boys.
I give your moms so much wood
they call my dick Beaver Lumber.
You're the worst player on our team.
Great in the room,
but you're the worst player on our team.
And your mom's a fucking dog.
You're the worst player
on our team. Great in the room,
but you're the worst player on our
team. And your mom's a fucking dog.
Yeah, laugh it up, Sumerfeld.
Everyone knows what we call your mom. Sanguinet?
but you're the worst player on our
team. And your mom's a fucking dog.
Yeah, laugh it up, Sumerfeld. Everyone
knows what we call your mom. Sanguinet?
Yeah, did ya tuck your dick
back between your legs
- for that, too?
- Doesn't matter, Cory,
your mom will still find
a way to grab it.
Liam, can you just hurry up and finish this game? Your mom's still waiting for me to come back with a warm, wet towel.
Your mom carved her initials
into my bed frame.
Your mom's texts are so full
of spelling mistakes
I can barely figure out what
time she wants me to come over.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Liam, did you know your mom
calls her mitt her wet wallet?
- Fuck you!
- Boys, just tell your moms
to leave me alone.
I'm not gettin'
matching tattoos with them.
your mom will still find
a way to grab it.
- Why are the Jims always late?
- Bangin' yer mom, Ziig!
Well, Fish, you scored
the game-winning goal,
but your mom's real ugly.
How's it feel?
but your mom's real ugly.
How's it feel?
- Shoresy?
- Fuck yer mom.
Don't worry, Liam, I don't laugh at your mom's jokes either and every time, she's like, "What? I'm funny!"
I don't laugh at your mom's jokes either, Cory, and every time she's like, "Be nice to me!"
Yeah, and I think about it every time I go to war on your mom's ass.
Better tell your mom to go get checked out.
Yeah, tell that to your mom, Cor.
Fuck you, Liam. Every time I hit your mom from the back it sounds like someone running in flip-flops.
Cory, I got your mom on speed dial and Liam's mom blocked.
But maybe your moms text me
just a little bit less.
Your mom's got me on a pineapple diet so I taste better for her, but she's so fuckin' fat that extra sugar might cost her a foot.
Well, I'll tell ya what it can do. Fuck your mom.
I said the same thing to your mom about blowing my dink.
Oh, quit crying, Cory. You're just like your mom.
You're just like your mom. She makes everything about her,
Your mom likes me like she likes her Caesars,
Well, you get that whining from your mom, bud.
Oh, I'm so mad at your mom right now, Cor. She wanted to role-play as a dog and master, but then killed the mood when she dragged her butthole across the carpet.
Your mom shoots so much cum around my room, I gotta put woodchips on the ground like I've got fuckin' guinea pigs.
Well, I'll tell ya what
it can do. Fuck your mom.
I said the same thing
to your mom
Oh, quit crying, Cory.
You're just like your mom.
You're just like your mom.
She makes everything about her, even when it's
Cory's mom's birthday.
Your mom likes me like
she likes her Caesars, stiff and on Sunday morning.
Well, you get that whining
from your mom, bud.
at your mom right now, Cor.
She wanted to role-play
Your mom's got me
on a pineapple diet
Your mom shoots so much cum
around my room,
- Yeah, but your mom offered up
a threesome with Cory's mom,
so I'll give it a try.
I don't care,
I'll try anything right now.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Liam. I was really
loving how affectionate
your mom was the other night
'til I realized
she was just wiping
her Dorito hands on me.
Ask your mom why it feels like
I'm pissing Vick's VapoRub.
I didn't sign up for this.
Oh man, I can't believe it,
Liam, last night,
I said no to sex,
and your mom called me
a homophobic slur.
- Hey, Cor, did I tell ya
I'm ghost writing
your mom's autobiography?
It's called,
"How I went from a cold hard ten
to a type two candidate."
(Liam): Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Liam.
I thought I'd seen everything,
but that was before
I saw your mom rip a fart
off the bathtub floor
while having a sit-down shower.
Oh, my God, Cory.
Your mom's so mean.
When I told her she needs
to start speaking
my love language,
she said,
"that's the single gayest thing
I've ever heard in my life."
(Liam): Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Liam.
I got in your mom's bed,
and she's such a fuckin' pig,
there were two snails in there.
Last night, your mom belched
in my face.
Your mom's mitt's so dank,
it's got earwigs.
But your mom
had a pubic hair so long,
I thought it was a centipede.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Yeah, tell that to your mom,
Liam.
your mom was the other night
'til I realized
and your mom called me
a homophobic slur.
your mom's autobiography?
It's called,
I saw your mom rip a fart
off the bathtub floor
Then tell your moms to quit
complaining when I do it.
- Then tell your moms to quit
complaining when I do it.
- Yep.
- We know 100 percent
she likes those.
- Bunch of photos on her
Instagram. Ever seen it?
- Too busy on your mom's IG.
Instagram. Ever seen it?
- Too busy on your mom's IG.
Yeah, it's how I got your mom
to start grooming her front bum.
Oh, my God, Cory, I just love
how your mom keeps me guessing.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Hey Cor, just a heads up,
if your mom's pissy,
it's 'cause I'm withholding sex
'til she apologizes for ashing
her dart in my Gatorade.
Tell your mom to leave me out
of her relationship drama,
Liam, it's none
of my business your dad's gay
as three dudes on a Sea-Doo.
Fuckin' wish she was more
like your mom, Cor.
Your mom says I nag too much.
I just want her to brush
her teeth before bed.
Like, is that too much to ask?
Fuck you, Liam, every time
your mom's dog smells my crotch
I'm like, "Oh, you must
smell Cory's mom."
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Your mom's no better, Cor.
I know your mom
has separation anxiety,
but she's gotta stop
FaceTiming me from the toilet.
Your mom sent me video of her
ripping a three-octave fart.
- Yeah, it's how I got your mom
to start grooming her front bum.
if your mom's pissy,
it's 'cause I'm withholding sex
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Your mom's no better, Cor.
Your mom FaceTimed me
when I was watching videos
I knew your mom was old,
but did you know that she lost her virginity
at the Calgary Olympics?
Your mom calls me Daddy so much
I feel like I should be
-(Cory): Fuck you, Shoresy.
-Uh-oh, smells like your mom
-(Liam): Fuck you, Shoresy.
-Fucked your mom
I bench pressed your mom
40 reps.
-(Liam): Fuck you.
-Your mom says come to the bedroom, I'm horny.
I get it, your mom loves
body shots, but not at Chuck E Cheese.
Like, have some decorum.
I told your mom Cory's mom
could open a pop-off
Fuck you, Cory. Your mom
sticks so many toys up her ass,
Hey Liam, can you give your mom her heartworm medication for me?
but I just found out your mom's
got more kills than me.
203
Total Jokes
103
Letterkenny
100
Shoresy